Hello from Stressed and Sad.......

Because I LOVE LISTS, this is what you get today.....something short and sweet (well, not really short or sweet but an explanation).

I plan to continue my blog as it is a great outlet for me.  I have been conflicted about sharing the details of my challenges so I will share the pieces I'm comfortable with and leave out the details that are better left quiet.
Who:  Erin

What:  has been stressed to the max (so I've been on hiatus from blogging or even reading blogs)

When:  since forever (or at least since the last post, and the post before that and.....!!!)

Where:  right here in Iowa City, Iowa (stress and thoughts run my brain in vicious circles......round and round which of course affects my regulation of emotions.......which in turn affects my body......so Guess What.....my back is on STRIKE for the last two weeks and I am SOOO not impressed!!!!!!!!)

Why:  because I was born to worry, because my aging parents' health has me freaking out, work, kids, money, life, relationships, my future, decisions that need to be made......all which cause me to be happy one moment and sad the next.  THEN remember that I have teenagers (who I love unconditionally and would die for them without hesitation but.....oh my......they really make a single mom want to drown her thoughts with alcohol some days).  And it's summer so they need to be kept busy which means I always have a houseful of teenage boys that results in lots of noise, slamming doors, muddy shoes, wet clothes, empty dishes and LOTS OF cooking and cleaning (but when they are in my house, I know where they are and what they are doing...but feeding them NEVER ENDS, they are always STARVING!!!) and I'm just getting into the summer rhythm of complete CHAOS and

WHAM...BAM...

(I do not thank you mam') 

I am slammed into INTENSE QUIET, I'm alone...the boys left to spend 16 days/nights with their father on Friday, July 2.  Regardless of all the other things I'm stressed about.....this event by itself is enough to send me to the looney bin.  I know, most of you are thinking, "Enjoy the quiet, enjoy the alone time, do what you want, when you want to do it.  Eat out, have fun, enjoy your time alone or with friends."

I agree, every summer I try very hard to plan things to do and reach out to my network of friends that are wonderful, understand my challenge and my intense emotions during the kids absence.  This is my 5th summer without them for over a week and this year is only a smidgen better than previous summers.

On a happier note, I am very blessed and thankful for the special friends in my life (and my Man) who understand my many challenges and have been very supportive. They listen to me rant, ramble, cry and then make me laugh.......and accept me despite my faults.  :-)

Hugs,  Erin

p.s.  Good news, I have done two large paintings (very good for me to do those) and have the photos taken and uploaded, just need to post for you.

p.s.s.  More good news, I have a number of topics I want to share, I just need to put them in writing.